Blood (Andy Milligan, 1973)

Dr. Lawrence Orlofski (Allan Berendt) and his wife Regina (Hope Stansbury), fresh from Budapest, move into a house in 19th century America along with their servants - legless Orlando (Prizzi's Honor's Michael Fischetti), addled Carlotta (Pichulina Hempi), and Carrie (Patti Gaul), who is beginning to experience leg problems similar to those that afflicted Orlando before he lost his own. Regina needs blood to survive, so Lawrence and the servants give her injections of extract from blood-drinking plants they grow. Regina believes her husband and Carrie are having an affair, though Carrie is actually in love with Orlando. Meanwhile, Lawrence discovers his late father's lawyer Carl Root (John Wallowitch) is swindling him out of his inheritance, and tries to get what's rightfully his with the help of Root's pretty secretary Prudence Towers (Pamela Adams), with whom he forms a strong attraction. As it turns out, Lawrence and Regina both have dark secrets, and infamous fathers...

Blood is the fourth Andy Milligan film I've watched, and the second I've reviewed here, and in many ways it's typical Milligan, which is all for the better as far as I'm concerned. Andy's penchant for melodrama is on full display here, with many of the actors chewing the scenery and reading truly overwrought lines. When Lawrence and Regina are in bed, Regina goes from telling her husband she loves him to saying just the opposite when he refuses to make love to her. When she tells him to go to Hell, he replies, "We're already there!" The blood-eating plants are an odd touch, and it's never explained exactly why just injecting the blood itself into Regina's veins wouldn't do the job as well. Carlotta's brother Johnny (David Bevans, whose character is miscredited as "Jimmy") has a very anachronistic haircut. Milligan's house on northern Staten Island, used as the Orlofski house, is too nice to be truly eerie. Eve Crosby turns in a memorable performance as Petra, a strange-looking, thick-accented gypsy woman with a connection to Lawrence's father. John Wallowitch sports bluish hair, probably as the result of a bad dye job. Milligan's affinity for classic literature and film is shown by the revelations about the identities of the Orlofskis' respective fathers, although considering Lawrence's father originally appeared in a film made in 1941 and set in the present day, one has to wonder how he can be dead a few years after 1875. Even so, this is Milligan at his finest, and well worth your time.

Neutron the Atomic Superman vs. the Death Robots (Los autómatas de la muerte; Federico Curiel 1962) and Love After Death (Glauco Del Mar, 1968)

Now that I'm set up with my new apartment and the internet, I am proud to present Diary of a Madman's very first double feature review! ("Science fiction, double feature..." to quote the immortal Richard O'Brien in one of my all-time favorite films, the ultimate midnight movie). Both films were made in Spanish-speaking countries in the 1960s, and both are in black and white, but there the similarity ends.

The evil Dr. Caronte is supposedly dead after his battle with the masked crimefighter Neutron, but in reality nothing could be farther from the truth. Caronte is alive and well, and is using the brains of three scientists whose bodies he stole from the grave, an army of hideous blood-drinking robots, and his little person henchman Nick in order to acquire the formula for a neutron bomb. Neutron must save the day once more. But who is Neutron? Three friends are potential candidates, all of whom are in a love triangle with lovely nightclub chanteuse Nora, the daughter of Professor Walker (The Mansion of Madness' Claudio Brook).

I love luchadore films. El Santo, Blue Demon, and their ilk push my buttons in the best ways. I don't care for American wrestling, but I dig the hell out of their Mexican counterparts. Neutron isn't a luchadore in the sense that he's a professional fighter, but with his black full-face mask with three lightning bolts on it, muscular physique, shirtlessness, fighting ability, and refusal to take off his mask, he fulfills every other aspect one associates with them. (However, he does not wear the cape seen on the film's poster). This was the second in a series of five Neutron films, with 1960's Neutron, the Man in the Black Mask representing the first battle between Neutron and Dr. Caronte. I've not seen the other films in the series, but this one was a lot of fun. The death robots are basically zombies, albeit blood-drinking rather than the flesh-eating type later created by George Romero and much imitated subsequently. There's an interesting scene where one of the robots literally loses his head. Both Neutron and the bandage-masked Dr. Caronte look cool, and Nick is a memorable character whose disability isn't exploited overmuch, even if the dwarf henchman is a genre standby. Claudio Brook is excellent as always,

The fact that Neutron's identity is never revealed (IMDB doesn't even list who plays him, or Dr. Caronte) is heavily played up, and the film never actually resolves which of Nora's three suitors is the masked man. Nora delivers a couple songs in Spanish, as do a male trio. The dubbing is pretty good for a Mexican film from the '60s, and there are some good lines, even if a policeman saying one of the robots "Looks like my mother-in-law!" made me roll my eyes. Neutron also appears to have pioneered the art of disappearing when the police aren't looking later pioneered by Batman. I cannot wait to see more of Neutron's adventures. Those of you with Amazon Prime memberships, give this film a look.

Mr. Montel (Guillermo de Cordóva) is prone to cataleptic fits, and during one of those episodes his beautiful blonde wife Sofia (Carmin O'Neal) and his friend Dr. Anderson (Roberto Maurano) claim he's dead and have him buried. Clawing his way out of the grave, Montel, who according to Sofia was impotent before, becomes a sex-crazed maniac, pursuing every woman he can find, sometimes with their consent, sometimes not. Meanwhile, Sofia and Dr. Anderson are having an affair, though the doc doesn't know Sofia is also screwing his crony Arturo (Angel Mario Ramirez). Discovering the plot that resulted in his burial, Montel vows revenge on his wife and the doctor.

Love After Death (or Unsatisfied Love as the print on my Something Weird Triple Feature DVD, which also includes The Atomic Brain and The Incredible Petrified World, is titled) is the second Argentinean sexploitation/horror hybrid I've seen, the first being another Something Weird release, The Curious Dr. Humpp. Neither are particularly good films, but of the two, this is probably the better. There's not much of a plot, and not a lot of dialogue either, with all of Montel's lines being delivered in voiceover as his inner monologue; it seems that he was unable to speak once he got out of his cataleptic state. What the film does have is its share of beautiful unclad women. While there's no male full frontal nudity, and the film never goes straight hardcore, we do come close to seeing genitalia at times. The film also touches on non-heteronormative sexual relations. An old woman who witnesses one of Montel's rapes says of his blonde victim, "If I was only ten years younger." Montel pursues a dancer he finds in a tryst with a woman, with said dancer turning out to be a male transvestite. There's also a lesbian couple. It's not a particularly progressive film in its sexual attitudes, but still worthy of note.

The horror elements are not very prominent, although there are some decent bloody FX when Montel gets his revenge. There's a surprise ending that, while I get what they were going for, still seems a bit bizarre. Montel's "castle" is clearly nothing of the sort. The best part is the opening where Montel is horrified that he can't tell his mourners he's not dead, followed by him busting out of his grave. It's too bad the rest of the movie couldn't be quite that strong.

Count Dracula's Great Love (El gran amor del conde Drácula; Javier Aguirre, 1973)

Imre Polvi (Victor Barrera, billed as "Vic Winner"), his lover Marlene (Ingrid Garbo, no relation to Greta), and her friends Senta (Two Undercover Angels' Rosanna Yanni), Karen (Haydée Politoff), and Elke (Cria Cuervos' Mirta Miller) are traveling through the Borgo Pass when their coach loses a wheel and the driver is killed by one of his own horses. They seek help at the mansion of Dr. Wendell Marlow (Paul Naschy, born Jacinto Molina Alvarez, who played werewolf Waldemar Daninsky in a long-running series of Spanish horror films), which was formerly a sanatorium run by Dr. Kargos, who was hanged for draining his patients' blood. The girls, checking out the library, discover a book written by Dr. Von (sic) Helsing that says Dracula returned after he and Jonathan Harker killed him, and he needs the blood of a virgin to bring his daughter Rodna back to life. Meanwhile, Marlene falls victim to a vampire, and bites Imre in turn. Karen forms an emotional connection with Dr. Marlow, who is hiding a bloody secret...

Count Dracula's Great Love is a pretty mediocre film, but in a "so bad it's good" way. While the women are all gorgeous and many of them bare all, the plot is pretty thin. Drac apparently can't keep his servants in line, as many of them rebel and force him to kill them. Senta's description of Naschy (who like Lon Chaney in the arguably-misnamed Son of Dracula, transitions from playing a werewolf in a series of films to a standalone turn as the Lord of the Vampires) as "handsome" is being generous, and even Karen doesn't get the appeal at first. Of course, there's lots of fake redder-than-red blood. The dubbing is hilarious. Dialogue and lip movements are not synced at all, many of the Transylvanian peasants have Southern accents, and there are memorable lines like, "You'd sleep with a broom if it wore pants!" Curiously, Imre says Count Dracula is the descendant of the historical Prince, whereas Stoker makes it pretty clear they're the same person. There are some cool visual effects, such as a dream sequence of Dracula biting a female victim shot in photo-negative. Of course, the film wouldn't be complete without Dracula having sex while we see a mirror with the reflection showing only his inamorata. The Daninsky films are more fun, but this is a enjoyable way to pass an hour and twenty-two minutes.

The Body Beneath (Andy Milligan, 1970)

A woman in Highgate Cemetery on Hampstead Heath is attacked by three green-skinned women. Soon after, Graham Ford (The Pink Panther's Colin Gordon) is visited by his distant cousin the Rev. Alexander Algernon Ford (Tootsie's Gavin Reed) and his silent wife Alicia (Susan Heard). The two have recently moved to Carfax Abbey near Highgate, and invite Graham and his wife Anna to dinner. The Reverend also tells Graham the Ford family has existed since 98 B.C. Anna (Real Life's Susan Clark), who as it turns out is the woman at the cemetery, comes home. Meanwhile, Susan Ford (Jackie Skarvellis) tells her boyfriend Paul Donati (Richmond Ross) she is pregnant, and the two talk about getting married. Apparently, Susan will also be visiting the Reverend and his wife. Meanwhile (again), Candace Ford (Emma Jones) receives a bouquet of flowers. One of the green-skinned women whispers to her maid. The bouquet has a razor blade in it, on which Candace cuts herself, drawing blood. Susan shows up early at Carfax Abbey, where the Reverend is pleased to learn of her engagement and that Paul is of "strong blood." Susan passes out from drugged sherry, and is later offered food by the hunchbacked servant Spool (Berwick Kaler), whom she tries to convince to help her escape. However, she learns a horrible truth: for centuries, the Fords have been vampires. The family's blood has become diluted in the past hundred years by inbreeding, but Susan's unborn child may be the solution to their problem...

Andy Milligan is a fascinating example of a cult filmmaker. Also a playwright, he did films in both the U.S. and the U.K. Reportedly possessed of a violent temper, Milligan was also openly gay, and died of AIDS in 1990. Of the three films I've seen by Milligan to date, The Body Beneath is by far the most well-made. Milligan's literary inclinations are on full display -- sharp-eared viewers will recognize that Carfax Abbey was Dracula's home in England in Beam Stoker's novel, while the real Highgate Cemetery was the basis for Stoker's fictional Kingstead Cemetery. The performances run the gamut. Gavin Reed is a ham, but not in a bad way. Berwick Kaler makes the viewer feel for what would ordinarily be a stock hunchbacked assistant, sorrowfully recounting how his stepbrother pushed him in front of a moving bus. Shortly before that, we learn he likes pudding, which I'm sure many viewers can identify with. The Fords' vampirism is interesting. The Reverend and Alicia get their blood by transfusion, but the other members of the family seem to go in for the traditional neck-biting. Of course, horror movies about ancient horribly inbred families are nothing new; Jack Hill's Spider Baby is one of the best. The ending is surprisingly arty and well-shot for Milligan, as the Fords, flamboyantly attired, get together for their big conference. The Rev wants to relocate the family to America, home of "pimps, prostitutes, drug dealers, degenerates, the scum of the Earth!" Hey, if the shoe fits...

If you have Amazon Prime, you can check out the film there. And if you're still not decided, check out the trailer!

Cave of the Living Dead (Der Fluch der grünen Augen; Akos von Ratony, 1964)

Inspector Frank Dorin (Fassbinder regular Adrian Hoven) is sent by boat(!) to a small village to investigate the mysterious deaths of six young women, all of which happened near a grotto and were accompanied by brief blackouts. Although the manager of the inn where Dorin is staying insists that a vampire is responsible, the Inspector is understandably skeptical, even after the hotel's maid soon becomes the seventh victim, and has two puncture marks on her neck. Even the shifty local doctor (Rififi's Carl Möhner) attributes the deaths to heart failure, although the scraggly-haired, black-toothed witch Nanny insists that the undead are indeed responsible. Dorin is invited by blood specialist Professor von Adelsberg (Wolfgang Preiss, Rudolf Klein-Rogge's successor as Dr. Mabuse) to stay at his castle, which is also inhabited by his beautiful secretary Karin Schumann (Karin Fields from Jess Franco's The Demons) and his black manservant John (John Kitzmiller, Quarrel in Dr. No). Eventually, Dorin is forced to accept the existence of the supernatural and end the vampire's threat once and for all.

This West German/Yugoslavian co-production (also known as Night of the Vampires and The Curse of the Green Eyes) is worth a look, though hardly a masterpiece. Director Ákos Ráthonyi (credited as Akos von Ratony) makes the film genuinely atmospheric and creepy, helped greatly by Hrvoje Saric's cinematography. Hoven is surprisingly laid-back for a Police Inspector, while Preiss is every bit as sinister as he was as Mabuse (even if the film gives away his secret before it needs to). Fields isn't given a lot to work with, although she does provide some welcome sex appeal, at one point changing (shot from behind and with her panties still on) into a more revealing nightgown than one would expect for the era. Kitzmiller is referred to as "colored" twice, and a "Negro" once, but given the aforementioned time period I suppose I should cut the film a little slack. Herbert Jarczyk's music is excellent, with jazzy themes at the beginning and end but eerier material in between. This will never make anyone's top 10 vampire movie list, but I dug it.