For Y'ur Height Only (Eddie Nicart, 1981)

When the mysterious Mr. Giant's men kidnap the scientist Dr. von Kohler in order to hold the world hostage with his N-Bomb, it's up to the diminutive Weng, aka Agent 00 of "the Secret Agency," (Weng Weng), to save the day, armed with gadgets such as a ring that changes colors when it detects poison, an Oddjob-style razor-brimmed hat, and x-ray specs (which our pervy little hero uses initially on his boss' secretaries, though they're seated behind concealing desks). Helping him along the way is Irma, a fellow agent undercover as a gang moll.

The Philippines were no stranger to exploitation cinema, as those who have seen the documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed know. From Pam Grier's women-in-prison flix to the Blood Island series, the Filipinos produced a lot of great trash cinema. For Y'ur Height Only (and yes, that is an apostrophe in place of the "o" in "Your") is no exception; it knows it's ridiculous, and revels in it. The 2'9" Weng Weng (born Ernesto de la Cruz), listed in the Guinness World Records as the shortest adult actor in a leading role, is impossible to take seriously as an action hero, and yet 00 kills dozens of bad guys, has a swordfight, and sweeps every woman he meets off their feet. At one point, he uses a woman's umbrella to leap out the top floor of a skyscraper. My umbrellas get turned inside-out by a particularly strong wind, but Weng lands without any damage to his brolly. Unsurprisingly, the voices of many of the dubbed characters are ridiculous, including a Filipino gold broker with a posh British accent. Earth, Wind, & Fire's "Boogie Wonderland" is played in a disco, and I'm sure the filmmakers did not even bother asking for permission to use it. This is an utterly mind-boggling piece of cinema, and now I must see the sequel, The Impossible Kid!