Ass-hattery Ahoy

I love Mystery Science Theater 3000. I think it's one of the funniest shows ever made, even when I actually like the movies they show (such as Danger: Diabolik and some of the Roger Corman films). A lot of episodes aren't available on DVD, some due to copyright reasons (including pretty much all of the Gamera films they did). At the end of each episode, the credits would include the phrase, "Keep circulating the tapes". The folks at Best Brains were encouraging fans of the show to share their copies of each episode with other fans. In the years since the show started, a little thing called the Internet has become somewhat popular. One website, Youtube, has brought the circulation of episodes into the 21st Century via several MSTies posting episodes broken up into 10-12 chapter on it. However, Viacom and NBC Universal have been intermittently cracking down on these people. Some who have posted episodes have gotten their accounts suspended. More irritatingly, rather than the more logical idea of removing the episode entirely, some episodes have had only one or two chapters removed. This does a disservice to old and new fans of the show, some of the latter of whom may not have a chance to see some of these episodes otherwise. I understand the desire to protect one's intellectual property, but I have to wonder why these companies are going about it in a half-assed, rather dickish way.

Pic o' the Day

Today we have a gorgeous illustration by the great Joe Kubert featuring one of the heroes most associated with him, Hawkman. Kubert not only drew the Golden Age incarnation of the hero in Flash Comics from #62 (Feb. 1945) to the final issue, #104 (Feb. 1949), he was also the initial artist on the Silver Age re-imagining of the Winged Wonder, illustrating this version's initial appearances in The Brave and the Bold #34 (February-March 1961)-36 (June-July 1961) and 42 (June-July 1962)-44 (October-November 1962), as well as some of his appearances in the later The Atom & Hawkman.

Pic of the Day

Today's image is an Italian poster from the criminally underrated Sergio Corbucci's classic 1970 Spaghetti Western Vamos a matar, compañeros, or simply Compañeros as it's known here in the U.S. Set during a Mexican revolution, this film stars Franco Nero (Django, Keoma), Tomas Milian (The Big Gundown, Don't Torture a Duckling), Fernando Rey (star of many of Luis Buñuel's films, including the same year's Tristana alongside Nero), and Jack Palance (Contempt, Shane) in perhaps his most memorable role, this film features many brilliant performances and one of Ennio Morricone's best scores. An absolute must-see for genre fans and film buffs.

Pic of the Day

Today, we have the original Japanese poster for Kozure Ôkami: Ko Wo Kashi Ude Kashi Tsukamatsuru, better known in the West as Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance, the first in a series of six films based on the groundbreaking manga by writer Kazuo Koike and artist Goseki Kojima. Directed by Kenji Misumi, starring Tomisaburo Wakayama as kaishakunin turned ronin Ogami Ittō and Akihiro Tomikawa as his infant son Daigoro, produced by Wakayama's brother Shintaro Katsu (of Zatoichi fame), and written by Koike and Kojima based on stories from the original manga, this film served as the genesis for one of the greatest Japanese film series of all time.

Pic of the Day

Inspired by my good friend Win Scott Eckert, I shall be posting on a quasi-regular basis cool images that have a special significance to me. This time it's a Turkish poster for Enzo G. Castellari's (Inglorious Bastards, The Big Racket) brilliant 1976 Spaghetti Western Keoma, one of the genre's last great films. Featuring Franco Nero (Django, Hitch-Hike) in the title role of the half-Indian gunslinger, this film also features such luminaries as Olga Karlatos (Zombi 2), Woody Strode (Once Upon a Time in the West), William Berger (Sabata), and Donald O'Brien (Run, Man, Run). Featuring a very unusual score that improves with repeated viewings and Peckinpah-style slow-motion carnage, this film is a must-see for genre fans. Quoth our hero: "He can't die! And you know why? Because he's free, and a man who is free never dies!"

Of Wikis and Wold Newton: The Grand Finale

"

• Edward <Edward Kelley> (1555 - 1597), ancestor of the Talbots.
• Elvira , niece to Vincent Talbot and Morgana Dracula.
• George, grandson of Glenn Talbot.
• Richard, husband of Rachel Merton, and ancestor to Sir John Talbot.
• Vincent, uncle to Elvira Talbot and husband to Morgana Dracula."

None of these individuals are mentioned in any of the articles dealing with the Talbots. Also, Glenn Talbot of the Hulk stories was an army colonel in the late '60s-early '70s, seemingly in the prime of his life, making it unlikely that he would have a grandson in 1987.

"Tommy "Tailspin" Tompkins, father of Suzie Tompkins by Linda Lane."
According to Win Eckert, Tailspin Tommy is actually Suzie's uncle.

"Dick Tracy, cousin to James Bond, father to Joseph Flintheart Tracy and Bonnie Braids Tracy by Tess Trueheart, father to another son by Breathless Mahoney and adoptive father to Dick Tracy Jr."
No one has ever connected Dick Tracy to James Bond. I'm not sure what the basis for this connection is.

"Hang Tuah, descendant of Fu Manchu, William Clayton, Ra's Al Ghul and Captain Nemo by an unknown Islamic royal."
Fu Manchu (born 1840, according to Doc Savage: His Apocalyptic Life), Sir William Clayton (born 1799, according to Tarzan Alive) and Captain Nemo (according to Jules Verne, the nephew of Tipu Sultan, who lived from 1750-1799) are ancestors of a legendary 15th century warrior. Perhaps someone will one day write a story of the time travel either of these three men or Hang Tuah.

"

• Alexandra Wang , half-sister to Richard "Data" Wang.
• Henry Chan Wang (Dr.), son to Charlie Chan.
• Richard "Data" Wang, son of Henry Chan Wang."

Alex Munday's father appears in the 2nd Charlie's Angels movie, and he's played by John Cleese.

"Honey West <Miss Moneypenny>"
Another seemingly random conflation.

"Wade Wilson <Deadpool, Agent X, Nijo, Alex Hayden, T-Ray>, brother to Slade Wilson."
Deadpool and T-Ray are two separate people, the former assuming the latter's name. Agent X is also a separate person.

"Tequila Yuen, great-grandson of Fu Manchu"
Apparently the author(s) believe every character in fiction of Chinese descent is descended from Fu Manchu. Also, Henry Covert has devised a different ancestry for Tequila.

"Countess Marya Zaleska, daughter of Vlad III Dracula and wife of Samuel Dracula."
Chuck Loridans has a different Marya Zaleska-Grandpa connection.

"The Justice League"
Win Eckert has intensively dealt with the subject of including superheroes and teams in the Wold Newton Universe.

"The Creature from the Black Lagoon, an alien Gorn who crash-landed in the Amazon rainforest during a scientific retrieval mission."
No article has ever identified the Gill-Man as a Gorn.

At last, we have reached the end. I hope that my efforts have done or will do something to redress many of the misconceptions caused by this list. For actual research on the Wold Newton Universe, see any of the article's I've hyperlinked in this series, all of which can be found on the following sites:
The Wold Newton Universe
The Secret History of the Wold Newton Universe
French Wold Newton Universe
The Wold Newton Chronicles
Jess Nevins' Wold Newton page
M*O*N*S*T*A*A*H

For anyone who wants to explore the Wold Newton Universe, these sites are essential, as are the original writings of Philip Jose Farmer, listed at the topmost site above, and Myths for the Modern Age: Philip Jose Farmer's Wold Newton Universe, a collection of essays by Farmer and others, edited by Win Scott Eckert.

Wikipedia can be edited by anyone. Wold Newton scholarship requires extensive research and analysis, something sorely lacking in the list saved by Mr. Sandifer from a merciful oblivion.

Thus ends my longest rant ever. :)

Of Wikis and Wold Newton: Part 10

"Pandora, ancestor of all Wold Newton survivors."
Yet again, a theory not stated in any article. Is the author trying to make a statement about the Wold Newton meteor strike metaphorically opening Pandora's box?

"__?__ Payne, the unknown father to Max Payne and Nelson Payne by an unknown French woman. Both children were put up for adoption and taken in by different families, however they retained their last names."
It's been a while since I saw it, but I don't remember any character named Payne in Band of Outsiders.

"Neptune Perkins , son of Arthur Gordon Pym, by an unnamed woman."
Dennis Power's article on Namor follows the comics in naming his mother Fen.

"Septimus Pretorius (Dr.) (c. 1400 - present), father of Johann Georg Faust by a German Countess and Count Orlok through the vampire Countess Elizabeth Bathory, creator of the The Borrowers race as well as the miniature Dracula soul-clone Vlad the Drac, also the mentor to Grigory Rasputin and Henry Frankenstein. Pretorius is one of the few characters that have managed to acquire the Lazarus Effect also known as the Fountain of Youth, other members include: Juan Ponce de León, Grigory Rasputin, Count St. Germain, Lazarus Long, Ra's al Ghul, Fu Manchu, Indiana Jones and Roland."
Virtually all of this is made-up.

"S. Quentin Quale (Dr.) <Doctor Satan>, of unknown relation to the Firefly family."
House of 1,000 Corpses never states or even implies that Doctor Satan is a blood relation to the Fireflys.

"Allan "Hunter" Quatermain Allan Quatermain Jr.>, father to Branwen Marais by his first wife Marie Marais; and father to Harry Quatermain by his second wife Stella Carson; also second husband to Wilhelmina "Mina" Murray, and father to an unknown child by Ayesha, She-who-must-be-obeyed. Assumed the identity of Allan Quatermain Jr. after he took a potion that restored his youth and greatly extended his lifespan."
Alan Moore has never portrayed Allan and Mina as having been married. It has never been suggested that he and Ayesha had children.

"Alonso Quijano <Don Quixote de la Mancha, Andre Lafitte>, father of Jean Lafitte by Margaret Silver ."
This contradicts Dennis Power's theories as to Lafitte's ancestry.

"Rasalom , demonic entity that arrived to Earth with the arrival of a primordial meteorite in Romania prior to the Wold Newton meteorite. Often mistaken as Satan or The Devil, enabled the powerful bloodlines amongst the dark families of the Wold Newtonverse. Has assumed several guises in empowering its presence by manipulation throughout time: Avatar of Satan (The Devil), Avatar of Dracula, Mephistopheles, Baphomet, Dr. Philip K. Decker, Rothman."
None of Rasalom's alleged guises are referenced in any article as such.

"John Patrick Ryan (Dr.), father of Jack Ryan Jr."
Once again, the difference in Presidents would suggest that Jack Ryan is not in the WNU.

"Jeremiah "Judd", father to Robert Sawyer, Drayton Sawyer, William Sawyer and Edward Sawyer by Luda Mae Hewitt, father to Vilmer Sawyer by Eve Wilson ; descendant of the Reed/Reid family from the Donner Party on his mother's side."
Henry Covert's upcoming article "Twisted in Texas" proposes a different genealogy for the cannibalistic Sawyer clan of Texas.

"George , (unknown relation to the Sears) 3rd clone of Naked Snake and clone father of Snake Plissken."
Yet again, an unsupported statement.

"David Snake Solid Snake, Cobra Commander, Old Snake>, 1st inferior clone of Naked Snake."
Based on what little I know of Metal Gear Solid or G.I. Joe, I have a hard time believing that Solid Snake and Cobra Commander are the same person.

"Samantha Spellman, mother of Tabitha Stephens and Adam Stephens by Darrin Stephens, cousin of Hilda and Zelda Spellman."
No one has connected Sabrina and Samantha.

"Stephanie St. Clair , child of Jemal David and Topsy St. Claire."
Dennis Power does not mention Stephanie among their descendants.''